The familiar phrases from the American Pledge of Allegiance, 'One Nation Under God' and 'Liberty and Justice for All,' would be engraved in gold on either side of the monument.

What if I told you there is a way to configure the network on any Linux server that:

1. works across all distributions
2. doesn't require any software installed apart from the kernel and a boot loader (no systemd-networkd, ifupdown, NetworkManager, nothing)
3. is backwards compatible all the way back to Linux 2.0, in 1996

It has literally 8 different caveats on top of that, but is…

Stuck getting `Errors occurred, no packages were upgraded.`? Well, have I got the solution for you..