I have a confession to make: I’m a fan of Hollywood Undead. I like some Limp Bizkit songs. I think Eminem and Mac Miller are among the greatest rappers of all time. But even I am not white enough for Kid Rock.

Just to be clear, I didn't watch Turning Point USA's halftime show instead of Bad Bunny's. I couldn't have — with a nearly 40-minute runtime, I would've missed the only touchdowns in…