Why do we have the f%$#ing Wall Street Journal covering metaphorical war between Diet Coke and Coke Zero drinkers?

Even for the culture desk, this is mindbogglingly stupid.

For decades, Diet Coke has been a durable pop culture icon, as much a symbol of boardroom swashbuckling as high fashion society. Its buzzy 1980s origins featured endorsements from celebrities including Paula Abdul,…