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Barnaby Joyce Not Celebrating Socceroos Win Because Some Players “Look Like They’ve Recently Arrived”

Barnaby Joyce says he will be withholding his full celebration of the Socceroos’ victory after noticing that several players on the team ‘look like they may not be from around here’.

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Bloke Who Can’t Commit to Wife or Party Reckons Women Should Be Forced To Make Lifelong Commitment

Man of his word Barnaby Joyce, who would never so much even think of betraying a vow or going back on a promise, has spoken out against abortion, saying that women must follow through with the lifelong commitment of having a child. Speaking at an anti-abortion rally in Sydney on Tuesday evening, the Nationals-turned-One Nation […]

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Coalition MPs Worry Taylor’s Racist Welfare Policies Will Be Seen As Racist

Coalition MPs have privately expressed concern that Opposition Leader Angus Taylor’s proposed welfare crackdown on migrants could be interpreted by voters as blatantly racist, despite repeated assurances from Taylor’s office that the racism is purely economic in nature.

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Tony Abbott Makes First Announcement as Liberal Party President, Backing Adoption of Decimal Currency

"While there are understandable concerns about abandoning the florin, I believe our supporters are ready for the change”

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Flotilla of Luxury Yachts Assembles off Kirribilli To Protest “Crippling” Capital Gains Tax Changes

“These people in Government have clearly never run a business, or more to the point, a holding company structured beneath a family trust with a corporate trustee"

The post Flotilla of Luxury Yachts Assembles off Kirribilli To Protest “Crippling” Capital Gains Tax Changes appeared first on The Shovel.

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Taylor Proposes New “Australian Values” Test Requiring Would-Be Migrants To Blame Current Migrants for Nation’s Problems

“One of the central elements of being Australian is being able to identify a complex, multifaceted problem and then finding a creative way to blame it on brown people”.

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Huge Spike in Searches for ‘How Do I Become a Gas Company’ After Other Tax Loopholes Closed

“I had planned to just have a few investment properties to set me up for retirement, but I guess now I’ll be operating an offshore LNG platform instead”.

The post Huge Spike in Searches for ‘How Do I Become a Gas Company’ After Other Tax Loopholes Closed appeared first on The Shovel.

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Zero Boat People Have Entered Landlocked Electorate of Farrer Since One Nation Elected, Hanson Boasts

Following her party’s first win of a Lower House seat, Pauline Hanson has bragged that she has already reduced the number of boat people arriving in the electorate to zero. Girt by land, Farrer is approximately 480km from the nearest ocean. It is also — as any good political analyst will tell you — a […]

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