Sunscreen is one of your best defenses against damaging UV rays. Here are 16 vegan and cruelty-free sunscreens to consider for all of your outdoor adventures.
Sunscreen is one of your best defenses against damaging UV rays. Here are 16 vegan and cruelty-free sunscreens to consider for all of your outdoor adventures.
A Vitamix is the ultimate summer investment—it can make refreshing vegan smoothies, juices, ice creams, chilled soups, and lots more.
The CDC reports an estimated 31 million people in the United States are bitten by a tick annually. The Onion examines the myths and facts surrounding the common parasites. MYTH: Ticks only live in the woods. FACT: Many ticks enjoy the more cosmopolitan feel of a park or garden. MYTH: You can easily feel a […]
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Summer is the best season for fruit. Here’s what you need to know, plus tasty plant-based recipe ideas.
A flesh-eating fly known as New World screwworm has been found in livestock in Texas. Here’s everything you need to know about the parasitic pest. Q: What is our government doing about screwworm? A: They are currently negotiating with the highest-ranking screwworm representatives. Q: Is this why my burger costs $25? A: No, that’s because […]
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The Food and Drug Administration approved bemotrizinol, the first new sunscreen ingredient to be permitted since 1999, bringing the U.S. closer to other countries who have allowed the UV-blocking compound for decades. What do you think?
The post FDA Approves First New Sunscreen Ingredient In Over 25 Years appeared first on The Onion.
Nearly 20 years after Michael Pollan's food rule first appeared, his seven-word philosophy still offers a radical kind of clarity in a world of synthetic eating and ultra-processed abundance.
Certain vegan foods might help you manage autoimmune flare-ups—and some might make them worse. Here’s what you should know.
CLAYMONT, DE—As part of its effort to make the popular consumer-led food safety platform kid-friendly and provide parents with tools for oversight, IWasPoisoned.com announced Friday that it was now offering teen accounts. “Starting today, new restrictions have been placed on the accounts of IWasPoisoned.com users under the age of 18, who will now need permission to […]
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SAN FRANCISCO—Expanding their offerings of erectile health products, male-focused wellness brand Hims announced a new line of folders Wednesday for holding in front of embarrassing boners. “These safe, discreet folders are specially formulated to ensure you are the only one who knows that you are fully engorged,” said brand representative Erica DeLeon, touting the generic […]
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BALTIMORE—Responding to widespread proliferation of the technology in Americans’ daily lives, doctors at Johns Hopkins University warned Thursday that air fryers should not be considered an adequate substitute for human companionship. “An air fryer can be a powerful and reliable tool, but it’s no replacement for genuine interactions with other human beings,” said psychiatrist Lisa McDougan,…
NEW YORK—Calling the breakthrough a significant step forward in xenotransplantation, New York University doctors confirmed Monday they had successfully transplanted a pig foreskin onto a circumcised human. “This successful operation proves that pig penises are a viable, long-term solution for circumcised patients in desperate need of working foreskin,” lead surgeon Robert Langford said of the…
If you want to reduce the appearance of under-eye circles, eating more hydrating, nutrient-rich foods might be the solution you're looking for.
SPF is vital for protecting us from the sun, but can diet help, too? We spoke with a doctor to find out.
WASHINGTON—Assuring Americans that a routine medical exam had confirmed the president had no pressing health concerns, Capt. Sean Barbabella, the director of the White House Medical Unit, claimed Wednesday that Donald Trump was a perfectly healthy 9-foot-tall 35-year-old. “After concluding his physical, I can say with confidence that President Trump exhibits normal vitals for a […]
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Former first lady Jill Biden claimed that she thought her husband, former President Joe Biden, was having a stroke while watching his disastrous 2024 debate performance against President Trump that prompted him to drop out of the presidential race, insisting she had “never ever seen Joe like that before or since.”
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NEW YORK—Describing some of the new branded products available for purchase at shows, a spokesperson for Harry Styles confirmed this week that merchandise for the singer’s 2026 Together, Together tour included perimenopause supplements. “We are so pleased to provide concertgoers with an assortment of vitamins, minerals, and herbs that may ease symptoms as they ‘Kiss […]
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SUMMIT, NJ—In a surprise attack of astonishing brutality, oral cavity sources confirmed Thursday that the Listerine inside a local mouth was leaving 0.1% of germs alive in order to spread a message of terror throughout the microbial community. “The mouthwash killed my entire colony and then told me to bear witness to the horrors I […]
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The inaugural Enhanced Games, consisting of weightlifting, swimming, and sprinting, were held, which allowed competitors to take performance-enhancing drugs in hopes of pushing the limits of human achievement. What do you think?
The post Enhanced Games Allows Competing Athletes To Use Steroids appeared first on The Onion.
WASHINGTON—Proudly declaring that the exam revealed what he had known all along, President Donald Trump boasted Wednesday that his annual physical turned up no signs of pedophilia. “The doctors gave me the most thorough pedophilia testing you can get, and I’m totally clean,” said Trump, who claimed he had not only tested negative on pedophilia blood […]
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LOS ANGELES—Touting the success of his intensive anti-aging regimen Project Blueprint, tech multimillionaire Bryan Johnson announced Monday that he had split back into a sperm and an egg. “Thanks to my team of regenerative health physicians, I have effectively reversed the aging process and have never looked or felt more healthy and youthful,” said the […]
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WASHINGTON—In a dire health emergency that forced staffers to quickly mobilize to save the Cabinet member’s life, Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. was reportedly rushed to the gym Friday after suffering a sudden heart attack. “Quick, get him on an elliptical, now! He’s fading!” said HHS staffer Kathy Guiles, attempting to hook the secretary […]
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FORT WAYNE, IN—In a potent reminder of the inescapably transitory nature of all that is or ever will be, reports confirmed Tuesday that the sweaty ass print left on a rowing machine at a local Crunch Fitness location was already fading away, much like all of our earthly works and aspirations. According to gym sources, […]
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Phytonutrients are found in a range of plant foods, from tomatoes to kale to mushrooms. Here's why keeping your plate as vibrant and colorful as possible will help you get a whole range of beneficial plant compounds.
We asked the experts just how effective intermittent fasting is on maintaining good health.
IVF helps thousands of people on their fertility journeys, but the process can be grueling. Here's why it's important that people going through IVF nourish themselves with plenty of nutrient-dense plant-based foods.
Passengers aboard the cruise ship at the epicenter of a deadly hantavirus outbreak have returned to their home countries, where they will be quarantined and monitored. What do you think?
The post Passengers From Hantavirus-Stricken Cruise Ship Return Home appeared first on The Onion.
Three people have died and others have fallen ill after contracting hantavirus aboard a Dutch-owned luxury cruise ship. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the illness. Q: What are the symptoms of hantavirus? A: It starts with feeling stressed out about the state of the world. Q: Who is at the highest […]
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Ginger is warming, a little sweet, earthy, and delicious. But it's also really, really good for you, too.
It turns out that living a long life might not require much more than walking, eating plants, and compassion toward others. Here's what centenarian broadcaster David Attenborough has in common with the Blue Zones.